Cary's Corner - The SRDS Files
I probably shouldn’t be talking about this, but with all the Kennedy files, and UFO stuff getting declassified lately… I figure it’s only a matter of time before the truth about the Springfield Rain Defense System comes out anyway.
You’ve heard about Area 51, fake moon landings, and chem trails… but maybe not the Springfield Rain Defense System – SRDS for short. Is it real? I’m just saying I’ve seen some things. And you’ve seen it too. Radar shows a monster storm headed right for Springfield. Everybody starts talking about getting two inches of rain. Then somehow it splits, weakens, or goes around us and we don’t get enough rain to wet your driveway. Classic SRDS.
Every region has weather legends. I grew up hearing about the Tonganoxie Split, where storms supposedly hit Tonganoxie and split around Kansas City. People swore it was real. Springfield just took things… further.
Legend has it the SRDS is located somewhere between Billings and Bois D’Arc. Maybe in a cave. Maybe in a complex like Springfield Underground. We’ll probably never know.
Who runs it? Depends who you ask. When rain isn’t going my way, I figure Jim Bob and Joe Billy are trying to make a little moonshine money on the side and hit the “let it rain” button by mistake. I tend to think it’s more of a mafia-esque protection racket – in no way affiliated with the CU syndicate.
At ClassicLawns, let’s just say we may know a guy who knows a guy. There may have been certain “arrangements” over the years to keep rain events between 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. No rain during work hours. Lawns must get done. If it rains at noon and shuts us down? Assume we missed a payment.
Now you may not believe SRDS is real…but I can tell you SRDS Derangement Syndrome absolutely is. Exhibit A: Every spring people want sprinklers turned on way too early. We hear “When can we fire mine up?” “Shouldn’t I already be watering?” “My neighbor’s is on…” Meanwhile it rained two inches two days ago, more rain is in the forecast, and the next month is supposed to be cool and wet.
And I always think…folks…there is no prize for turning your sprinklers on first. No trophy. No medal. No green jacket. Please don’t pay the water company to do what Mother Nature is doing for free. That there may be the best lawn tip I give all month. Now I’m not saying lawns never need water. I’m just asking…why the hurry? Let’s save the watering and the worrying for July & August when we actually need it.
You may be asking… is this SRDS thing real, or is Cary messing with us? All I know is, when I watch a storm break apart right before Springfield…it feels like too much of a coincidence. Has to be true.
If the rain misses us again today? Don’t blame the forecast. The fellas at SRDS probably had a 1pm tee time.
– Cary Carlson
